Government to Pay Gibraltarians to Go to the Beach
Frontier removed on the 15th; rebuilt from umbrellas by the 27th.
Following the disturbances at Camp Bay, the Government has announced a national priority initiative to pay Gibraltarians to go to the beach, describing sunbathing as "no longer a pastime, but a citizens moral obligation."
Under the scheme, residents who present their ID card to the lifeguard on arrival will pay one pound less in tax for every day they attend. The lifeguard has been re-designated a frontier officer of the sand, and issued a whistle with executive powers.
Residents are encouraged to stake their claim on tables and "su sitio" using beach umbrellas, planted at dawn, in the manner of Anti-Tank defences. Those without an umbrella will be issued one from the National Strategic Umbrella Reserve, which exists as of this morning.
Pensioners, who have held the beach from seven a.m. since records began, will be recognised as veterans, with back pay.
The initiative will be known as Operation Sombrilla, after Operation Towel was found to be the intellectual property of another nation.
The scheme builds on the pool's new pricing structure, under which entry costs one pound for residents and fifteen for everyone else — a system officials describe as "not a border, merely a tariff with the smell of sunscreen." The visitor rate applies to all ages, a baby being never too young to contribute.
The pool accepts card payments only. No cash, the signage notes, including euros ensuring the euro is first to be turned away.
Camp Bay was chosen as the pilot site for its strategic heritage. A spokesman denied the initiative was aimed at anyone in particular. "Everyone remains welcome at our beaches," he said, planting a sun umbrella at 7am. "This is simply about ensuring that, at all times, every beach is under Gibraltarian control."
This is simply about ensuring that, at all times, every beach is under Gibraltarian control.
Asked what happens to the umbrellas in winter, officials confirmed they will be collected, counted, and dropped into the bay, where they will form Gibraltar's second artificial reefie.